Love Vs Money Essays

Money, not love, is the glue that keeps couples together. This may seem like a very shallow statement. But if you hang in there with me I think you’ll see exactly why money is more important than love . First, let me explain what I mean.

I’m not saying that money should be the objective of your relationship. Quite the opposite. Financial success results from a partnership that works.  That’s why it’s so important for couples to learn how to talk about money with each other.

Anytime you do something just for the money you are going to feel empty and unsatisfied. Based on my own personal and professional experience I feel very strongly about that. And this goes for all relationships. Marriage, friendship and even business.

And I’m not saying that having a lot of money will make your relationship successful either. No amount of money in the world can guarantee that. So what am I referring to? I’m talking about the agreements you have with your partner about finance (how money works and what it’s for).

Without agreement on your goals, values, attitudes and financial behaviors, your relationship is doomed. One of you will dump the other or you’ll live a miserable life together. This may take weeks, months, years or decades to manifest but it absolutely will happen sooner or later. I know this sounds harsh but only because it’s true.

This is not to say that you have to agree on all things financial from the get go. Often, it takes time to see eye-to-eye on money. But if you or your “lovie dovie” aren’t willing to discuss these issues openly and honestly and be willing to change your financial behavior in a meaningful way when required, you should take a hard look at the relationship and stop kidding yourself.

I’ll give you a few examples of how my wife and I handled our financial differences. I think that might help. When we first got married, we had different opinions about charity, spending and income. Fortunately this didn’t cause too many problems. We divided up the financial responsibilities and resources. And we gave each other complete responsibility and freedom within our respective realms. We also set up separate checking accounts. That’s what worked for us at first.

But this wasn’t a perfect solution. We did have our differences about spending and every now and then, it caused angst. It was difficult to find a balance between our different approaches.

My bride is anything but a spendthrift but she was more willing to open up the purse strings to enjoy life. I was still living in a great deal of financial fear when I started my career. I can honestly tell you that I was way too tight for no good reason. But we were both convinced that we were right and the other was being silly.

We eventually learned that we had to honestly address each other’s values and concerns. And we each had to compromise. We had to listen to each other. Really listen and hear what the other was thinking and understand what they were feeling. Then we had to actually implement the agreements we came up with. Agreement without action has no value. Until we did that, we figuratively slugged it out.

So when I say that money is more important than love I’m really saying that a relationship is in jeopardy as long as money disagreements go unaddressed. All the love in the world isn’t going to solve that problem. Money problems will beach your love boat whether or not you fight about them, ignore them or lie to yourself and tell yourself that everything is fine and/or will work out.

Until you fix what’s broken, the problem isn’t going to disappear. And as long as there is a basic structural fault in your financial foundation, you are walking on very thin ice. You are wasting your time and your partner’s time. You are either being enabled or enabling. Either way, you are being unfair to each other because you are both stuck.

Money symbolizes security and happiness. That’s because, to some extent, money provides those things. Take the time to listen to how your other half thinks and feels about money. As you listen, ask yourself,”what is right about what they are saying” rather than thinking of ways to protect your position. Make sure your partner/spouse does the same. If you are willing to do this and your huggie bear isn’t – it may be time to find a new companion.

Come up with tangible and meaningful ways to improve your joint financial life over the short and long run. Then put those changes in place immediately. If either of you are unable to do this, I strongly recommend that you seek counseling.
There is a lot at stake when it comes to money and your relationship. My experience tells me that you can never be happy with another person if there is wide disagreement on money and/or disconnects between shared values and actions. This is true no matter how much two people love each other.

What has been your experience? Have you seen this issue come up in your own life or in the lives of others you are close to?

 

 

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  • Love doesn't bring food to the table

    If you enter a relationship, you must have money to take that person on a date and buy them gifts.

    Love is great however when times of desperation such as having a home, living expenses or food, you need money to support all that. What good is love if I can't take my loved one anywhere or spend on something nice. The only time love exceeds money is with family, that kind of love is built on trust with a special connection.

    I laugh at people who are romantically together and claim that love is more important. You need money to eat, buy a home, send your kids to school and have a retirement when you're frail and old. Also when you are poor with a family you struggle to make ends meet. It is no wonder parents divorce when one can't have the money to support.

    Furthermore, females always look for a mate who will provide for their children. Meaning if they have enough money to support their kids to have a good education and quality lifestyle.

  • Not even close

    Money can open up the world to you and give you anything you can realistically dream up..Including plenty of virgins that will more than likely fall in LOVE with you, it's a deep rooted thing in women. So in reality money can buy what is essentially real love. Money > all except God.

  • Love may be essential but its not more important than money.

    Money can buy love but the opposite is not true. It can also buy food, medicine, shelter, car, and other necessary things. Can love buy those things? Definitely not! So practically speaking, money is superior than love in many things. Love can make you happy but money can make you more happier. You can live with money without love, but you can't live without money.

  • Not all you need is love

    Sure, love is all nice and what we strive for, but at the end of the day you can't eat it and it won't pay your bills. Of course, for a member of a western society who has enough money to possess a computer and post on debate.org, love may be most important, but if you imagine living in a country so poor, that you can't be sure to be able to buy enough food this month to not starve, finding a husband or wife won't score highest on your priority list. Except maybe finding a rich one...

    So love is more important than money, but only if you have enough of the latter. Generally though, money is most important.

  • Guess who you say successful person, definitely earning Money is success, ??????

    True world Practical World

    With Love anything With Money anything

    With Money : Basic needs, Education, Children care, Medical care.
    With Love: If all the above are sufficient , they are in love.

    Even people say to get well wish from GOD, U have to spent for money , all we know that everything runs by MONEY, Everything spends with LOVE .

  • Of course it is

    Money has always been more important than love. You can run out of money, but not love -- that's why it's more important. Money hasn't been around since the start, but the concept of economy was created for a good cause; without money, the whole world would not have a trade system.

  • We need money to live, not love

    We can buy things with money, which means that money brings us happiness. We need money to buy food for our daily life. Life has changed, all things need money. Love can't buy things. If there is another statement that money can't buy love, it's wrong. Money DOES buy love, although not true love. Love is not eternal, people's feelings always change, and not same with the first time. Another one is that, most of the divorce issues cause by economy problem: money. They got separated because the lack of money. So why at the first time they want to get married? They loved each other. Other cause is also when they are no longer loving each other, so they decided to divorce. It means that love changes, it is not eternal. Loving a person is not same as loving our parents, brother, or sister. Loving our family is eternal.

    Two people who don't love each other, they will live happily if they have plenty of money. Another one is that to think logically, if we are the parents, will we agree if our daughter marries a poor man whom our daughter loves, or a wealthy man who loves our daughter? It must be the wealthy man. All parents want the best for their children. Love can be binded up when two people get married, but money can't. Although miney can come and go, it is forever ours if we have. But how about love? It does not.

  • Money over anything!

    When has love ever been more important than money? NEVER. This world is cruel. It's no fairy-tail like in the books. It's time to put the books away, and grow up. Everyone needs to be independent! Don't get me wrong, it's great if you find your true love. Even if you do find your one true love, you need to be able to support yourself. You need money to support yourself, therefore money is more important.

  • World is in your hand

    We can see today materialist world,everyone runs after money man,they love them and respect them,so if you live this modern world you must respect money and making money rather than find true love,f u r poor people get bored with u even they dont want to spend time,i m s

  • Definitely,no no no.

    Cooomee on!! We are in real life. You can just live for two months with love.Think easy!! For example,you marry your girlfriend or boyfriend whaever.You walk with your children and he see a very expensive toy but you can not take it because you have not enough money.What will you say ?? ''Oooh honey,I can not buy this because We have not enough money for this but we have a love :s REALLY?? Your child does not care your love -.- BE REAL !!! Can you fill with love? Of course NO! -.- Love is temporary,baby

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